lighthouse confession

 

there’s something i want to say to you
before i die
whoever you are
wherever i met you

i am sorry and never meant to say the things i said

even now
the voice i hear is not my own
it is a wind whipping, whistling
yet eerily quiet
no words, only groaning

i listen to what i hope to tell you
in my lamentation…
crying for a sea breeze
gentle and soothing

harsh words roll over me
washing sentences and useless paragraphs
where punctuation once offered pauses and stops
like musical notes directed
at the guidance of a waving conductor
to be erased when the song has ended

i have lived among hammers
pounding
steel against steel
aching timbers abusing one another
steered by their own falling might
peeling skin and life from one another
in the battle to loneliness

these things formed my words
and so i wept in the quiet of darkness

there’s something i want to say to you
before i die

whoever you are
wherever i met you
i am sorry and never meant to say the things i said

now
as i look into the night
sorrow fills my heart knowing i spoke unkindly

perhaps you learned about forgiveness
sometime
somewhere along the way

and when i see your smile i will know it was you
and you will teach me how to forgive myself